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  • Writer's pictureAli

It was always there


Two weeks ago, this was a stick, a dry branch; brittle, seemingly empty of life after a winter that stripped its essence from view, sent its life into a retreat from the harshest elements, sent its life to an interior place so hidden that it seemed dead.


A week ago, it was the tiniest dot of green. I was amazed then, but it was too small to be photographed.


Yesterday, during my walk, I took this photo.


Needless to say, I feel my life has been hidden and my true essence scarcely findable this winter.

I still feel that at times, more often than I like to admit. I have finished my last chemo, am feeling the effects of that, with low hemoglobin, and doctors' advice to lay low because of risk of infection.

I am preparing for surgery in early to mid May. I get scans on the 2nd and a surgery date will be set to try to get me eating again (BLT anyone?). It has been dry and dark. I have been and am being shaken.


Seeing signs of life again, especially hidden, forgotten life, has filled me with celebration. I realize it's not just a metaphor. This is what life does, over and over again. This is love's persistence.

Can you believe it is like this? That this comes out of that? It really is odd and impossible!

I am amazed and surprised and so glad. Life rises again from retreated, seemingly emptied, spent, finished places. It is hidden there all along, even when I cant find it.

It has been hidden there all along, and still is, and will be ....waiting.

May you feel the deep blessings of Resurrection this Easter!


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Ali
Ali
Apr 23, 2019

Thankyou Connie and Gabriele. Connie, for that great Hopkins line I love (and one of Gabriele’s favorites as well) “nature is never spent “ and his reference to “deep down things “ and Gabriele, for the exsultet and promise of a praying rear guard. I love all these things.

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gabrielermayes
gabrielermayes
Apr 23, 2019

Dear Friend... Thank you for sharing your dry hard places with us... for staying so open to life while you are waiting in that great nothing space of Holy Saturday. I was holding you in my heart during the Great Vigil of Easter, especially as the new fire was kindled and this sweet 12 year old girl intoned the Exsultet with her clear-bell innocent lips"

Rejoice and sing now, all the round earth,

bright with a glorious splendor,

for darkness has been vanquished ...

All you who stand near this marvelous and holy flame,

pray with me to God the Almighty

for the grace to sing the worthy praise of this great light ...

This is the night, when Christ…

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ordinary_person
ordinary_person
Apr 21, 2019

Aaaahhhh. That is my expression of a long sigh. So lovingly written, Ali, so completely true. These wonderful lines from Hopkins come to me: "And for all this, nature is never spent; There lives the dearest freshness deep down things". Odd and impossible, and oh so very wonderful! Happy Easter, my friend.

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