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  • Writer's pictureAli

Hitting the Road

After more than a week of no communication, I'm ready to say a few things. Today George and I leave Florida and begin a three day road trip to Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Massachusetts. Our friend, Amy's brother has offered us a place to stay while we have a consultation with an oncologist there. I want to get as much information as possible from every angle possible to choose what course of action I can really embody, heart and soul. Ultimately, though I am receiving much great advice, no one can make these choices for me, as much as I'd like that. And ultimately, the challenge of meeting this and healing must come from a very honest, open and therefore strong place inside. So I have been listening, resisting, pushing, opening, learning, asking, shaking, taking risks, screaming, collapsing, rising and listening again, over and over again. This is such a staggering challenge that I can hardly manage it. I relish the few moments each day when I am not overcome with anxiety. And I am beginning to notice what things make the difference, which is a very important thing to learn. All the information and the weight of choice is what makes me hesitate to write much. I realize that much of my anxiety is imagining the responses of people who love me, who might not agree with or feel at peace with each choice I make. So for self care, I've huddled myself into a cocoon of sorts, knowing I am loved, that I am human, that we are each human, reaching for what we can, and that much Grace is needed.

That's the mantra George and I are sharing. There MUST be grace. There MUST be Grace! When all is said and done, and the choices are made, the God moment for me is the moment when I know there is Something Bigger at work, and I am not separate from that.. never will be. I am held in a greater process, called by many names. And each of you is part of that Something Bigger. Thank you. Thank you!!


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Dear Ali I love you and George, you are in my prayers! Gary! There is Grace!

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Bud Elliott
Bud Elliott
Oct 02, 2018

There IS grace. There MUST be grace.

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Bud Elliott
Bud Elliott
Oct 02, 2018

Only today did Susan tell me about your blog so here I am. Here am I. That really is all but I want to give you all I can, all I feel. To see you again as you journey.

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Ned Warner
Ned Warner
Oct 02, 2018

Ash, Juna, and I are thinking of you!!!

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Lillian Larsen
Lillian Larsen
Oct 01, 2018

Dearest Ali, We are walking with you, holding you in our thoughts and prayers ... as you choose the next steps on this path of healing, of life. With deep love, Lill (and Steve and Klem)

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